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Sex, Sexuality and Reproduction Membership
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Trust
is now the foundation on which most relationships stand, now that the influence of tradition is subsiding. Trust can only be developed on the basis of intimacy. Trust is investing confidence in others, and forming a mutual bond to withstand future traumas. Trust is a risk we must take if we want to love and if we want to reproduce today. We must gamble that our loved ones have the ability to act with integrity. Even our relatives are not taken for granted and trust must be negotiated, as it is in a sexual relationship. (The Transformation of Intimacy, p138) Relationships of trust between adults can only be based on individual freedom. Relationships of trust between adults and children should be structured as if the child were an adult. By this it is understood that because a child cannot always be negotiated with directly, any agreement should be of the kind that an adult would reach in the child's place. Without personal freedom, trusting relationships can result in codependance. "The shared history that a relationship develops can serve to screen off troubles in the outside world; one or both individuals may become dependent, not so much upon the other, but upon the relationship and its routines. This is a way of insulating themselves from a full engagement with other social tasks or obligations." Achieving a balance between freedom and dependence can be difficult. (The Transformation of Intimacy, p139-40). Anyone can build trust - trust between men, between women, between the sexes, between more than two people, between parent and child, between family members. Choosing whom to trust is the basis for relationships today; it is the basis for marriage today and for child rearing today. Anyone who can build a trusting relationship should be able to benefit from the laws that sanction the traditional form of intimacy that is marriage. Trusting relations are a "rolling contract" "to which appeal can be made by either partner when situations arise felt to be unfair or oppressive" (The Transformation of Intimacy, p192) which is why ease of divorce is also important.
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