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Sex, Sexuality and Reproduction
Membership
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Polyamory
"Often preached, rarely practised, complete fidelity is usually experienced by those who impose it on themselves as a mutilation; they console themselves for it by sublimations or drink. Traditionally, marriage used to allow for the man a few "adventures on the side" without reciprocity; nowadays, many women have become aware of their rights and of the conditions necessary for their happiness... There are many couples who conclude more or less the same pact as Sartre and myself: to maintain throughout all deviation from the main path a "certain fidelity"." - Simone de Beauvoir, Force of Circumstance (Penguin Books, 1963, p133). Polyamory is a growing trend in the changing of traditional relationships based on property rights and sexual inhibition, to modern relationships based on trust and freedom. Polyamory means "loving more than one" or "many loves". Polyamory seems to be openly practiced in many bi, gay and lesbian relationships. For example, in Shere Hite's investigation in Women and Love (Viking 1988) around a third of lesbian women are shown to see other women with their current lover's consent or knowledge. In heterosexual relationships, polyamory is practiced, but usually secretly and is understood as Adultery. However, many people no longer want to lie about their others lovers and have honest, non-monogamous relationships. These changes are improving people's relationships and health. It is not merely sex, but the combination of sex and deceit √ lying about who we are not sleeping with √ which continues to spread the AIDS and other venereal diseases. Open polyamory seems to be increasing. The uk-poly list has over 150 members and the number of articles in popular media and academic studies on the subject is increasing. A recent example can be found here. Just as heterosexuality is no longer the true focal point of intimacy and family, so too is monogamy loosing its traditional place as central. Other forms of non-monogamy like "swinging" seem to be growing more popular. People are arranging their love affairs and family life according to their preferences. People are making these choices because women have fought for and gained enough freedom to demand different life-styles, to love romantically, to challenge sexual hypocrisy and work for economic independence. Men and women can consider their options and are no longer obliged to traditional marriage and reproduction.
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